nir-va-na: n. a state of freedom from pain, worry, and the external world.
With Penny finally starting to sleep in her own crib and waking only once a night, there is the promise of a decent night’s sleep. If only Sammy and Ella were in on the plan. Unfortunately, at least one of them is in our bed every night. Usually it’s Ella, who kicks me all night long and hogs the bed, making sure I can never really fall into a deep sleep for fear of falling or being kicked off the bed.
Last night, both girls graced us with their presence by two in the morning. As I lay there, waiting for Penny to wake, I planned my escape. Once I got up, I would head to Sammy’s bed and sleep there, leaving the other three to our bed. Maybe, when the girls woke and I wasn’t there, Sean would get up and I could sleep in a little. (I was partially asleep, so a little dreaming wound up in the plan.)
Penny woke later than normal, at five a.m. instead of three, and I went to feed her after carefully barricading Ella into the bed with pillows. I then headed to Sammy’s bed and laid down on the new, soft, pillow top mattress (we really need a new mattress). I wrapping the covers around me without worrying about covering a child’s head or having one of the hot boxes kick them off (the girls are always hot, another Sean trait that apparently gets passed along in a dominant, mega-sized gene).
I laid down for twenty minutes, just about entering a state of blissful, deep sleep, before Ella awoke in our room and began crying for me. I thought Sean might get her back to sleep, assuming I was feeding the baby, but alas, I heard her drop with a thud to the floor, still crying for me, followed by her heavy footsteps searching the house for me.
I got up to get her before she woke everyone else up and brought her to Sammy’s bed. She began kicking and complaining.
“No! Me bed! Me bed!”
She wanted to sleep on her bed, which is currently a Dora sleeping bag on the floor. So much for my hopes of a good night’s sleep. I laid her down, and to my surprise, she went right to sleep. I crawled back into Sammy’s bed, snuggled down, and slept, for almost an entire ninety minutes, before Sammy woke for the day.
My state of sleeping nirvana lasted only a short time, but I will continue to pursue it, hoping to reach the state for a full night sometime soon.