Puker

In life there are two kinds of people, pukers and non-pukers.   (Yep, that’s it.  Only two kinds of people.  Don’t argue with me about it.)

I’m sure you can tell where this post is going, so if vomit bothers you, stop reading now.  You have been warned.

I am a non-puker.  I get nauseas but I rarely throw up.  I was nauseas for the first 14 weeks of my pregnancy with Ella 24/7.  I hoped and hoped I would throw up so I would feel better, but I didn’t.

Samantha is a puker.  She began her puking at just a few weeks old when she would projectile vomit after eating too much all over our furniture.  It was a spectacular display.  Really quite impressive.  Our couch will never be the same.

She has continued to be a puker.    When she gets a virus, you can be pretty sure she’s going to hurl.  When she gets a cold with a nagging cough, she’ll vomit.   When she gets really upset and cries a lot, puke.    Temper tantrum, puke.  This week we learned that a really good case of the hiccups can also cause spewage.  (I blame her father for getting her too riled up.)

I’ve gotten really good at doing puke covered laundry.  I even learned when puking happens in the middle of the night and you don’t want to go out to the garage that is not attached to the house because it’s cold.   Do not just throw the sheets out onto the patio without first rinsing them.   Having sheets, a bedspread, and the precious green blanket all frozen together by puke in the morning is not worth it.    Lesson learned.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Share

About Jessica Anne

13 Responses to “Puker”

Read below or add a comment...

  1. Shawna says:

    Thank you for the good laugh and lesson learned LOL! You poor thing. What we do for our kids is beyond what I could’ve ever thought I’d be capable of but, all so worth it.

    • Jessica Anne says:

      There are definitely a lot of things I never imagined I’d do that I’ve had to do for my kids. Cleaning puke is definitely on the list. :)

  2. SAHM
    Twitter: sahmproject
    says:

    Oh puke. The badge of motherhood. I have a very sickly daughter (has asthma attacks and frequent stomach viruses) and I never left the hospital without being covered from head to toe in puke, even my hair. Best of luck with your vomiting little one!! I feel (or rather smell) your pain!

    • Jessica Anne says:

      It really is a badge, isn’t it? A smelly, crusty badge. :) Sounds like you have it even worse than I do. I hope one time you get out of the hospital clean (maybe aim her at a nurse :)).

  3. Adriel says:

    SO.FUNNY.
    I’m definitely going to keep this in mind if any of my children turn out to be pukers. :) So far, so good. Wee little Levi is just a baby spitter-uper… no puke in sight yet. {phew}
    adriel

  4. Leslie
    Twitter: crunchybetty
    says:

    So I read the first line and thought “I really like this person. She’s funny.” And by the end of your post (and the next one), I was laughing out loud and kind of loving you in a totally obsessive way. So glad to find you! You’re my new favorite.

    PS – Feel free to put me on your list of pukers. I can’t even put a toothbrush on my tongue without danger.

    • Jessica Anne says:

      Yay! That’s good, because I’m already blog stalking you. :) Loving your site! And exactly my point, 2 kinds of people in the world. :)

  5. Lori Ann
    Twitter: delightedmama
    says:

    Oh, frozen puke, how wonderful :) I agree vomit is a badge of motherhood.

  6. Lori Ann
    Twitter: delightedmama
    says:

    Oh wow, so I typed that last comment while nursing, and right after I submitted it she finished… and spit up milk all over me. In Chinese (we live in China), spit-up is “milk vomit”… so I guess I do have a puker!!

  7. Robin
    Twitter: TwiMommi
    says:

    I am sad to say “I am a puker”. Oddly enough though, all the stuff that I thought would gag me with my daughter. Stinky diapers and such, don’t phase me in the least. Mommy immunity I guess :D