On Tuesday I went to Samantha’s preschool to talk to the kids about being a veterinarian (that’s what I did before I became a stay-at-home-mom). When the sign up sheet came out asking for parent volunteers, I was pretty excited. I had been waiting for this day really. I mean, what kid didn’t want to be a vet when they were growing up? Admit it, you did. Don’t lie, I know you did.
Career days can kind of suck when you’re a kid. A lot of parents have kind of lame jobs. But not me. I have a cool job and I know it. So I have been planning on basking in the glow of adoration when my kids’ classmates realize they have a real life veterinarian to talk to them ever since I found out I was pregnant for the first time.
Finally, on Tuesday, the time came and I got to put all those years in school to some good use. I got to brag and do the coolest show and tell EVER! Since I don’t actually practice anymore, I had to hit up my vet friends for cool stuff. (Yes, my husband is a vet, but he’s an internist and therefore boring. No cool surgery stuff . Plus, his practice has digital X-rays. Cool and all when you’re practicing, but no good for taking to classes.) Luckily, all vets know how cool it is to talk to kids about your job and my friends were more than willing to pony up the good stuff. I had eyeballs, pins for fixing broken legs, X-rays of turtles, horse feet, lizards, and birds. Sean even pilfered some surgical caps from the cool surgery department at work so I could pass them out for the kids to wear.
(In case you’re noticing, yes, I’m kind of egging Sean on here, since he reads this. Internists and surgeons fight over whose cooler. I kind of prefer surgery myself. But really, no one rocks like the superstar neurologists. Brain surgery and seizures. No competition.)
Anyway, I went to the school in my scrubs and wearing my stethoscope (because I’m awesome). What I didn’t count on was exactly what 120 preschoolers entailed. Here’s the best way to imagine it. Get every single stuffed toy, doll, and action figure in your house and throw them on the floor all over in one room. Bring in some pots and pans. Have your actual kids in there as well. Give them a lot of sugar. Then start trying to talk while your kids bang on the pots and pans. Then imagine that noise level times ten with no less than fifty kids at one time yelling out every story about their own pets at one time.
“I have two fish! I have a cat! One time my cat was really sick but now she’s six so she’s better! One time I was taking a bath at my grandma’s house and her dog jumped in the tub with me! Una vez un perro mordió a mi mamá en el pie! ” (I don’t know why that kid was speaking Spanish, but he was and kept yelling stuff out and it was really throwing me off because I understand Spanish but I really have to pay attention to get it.)
It was okay though. I showed my X-rays and they thought it was cool. I could tell. Either that or the school gave them Pixie sticks as a snack before I came.
So, the overall point to this post: I’m awesome. Actually, that’s Dr. Awesome.