White Trash Goes To The Beach

I’ve always considered myself pretty lucky in the extended family department.  My family’s pretty normal.  I grew up in the Midwest.  There’s a fair amount of white trash in the Midwest, but not in my family.  Well, you know the saying, sometimes when you’re looking for something you wind up finding it’s been right under your nose the whole time (or whatever Dorothy said at the end of The Wizard of Oz).

Turns out, I should have been looking at my own nose.  I’m the white trash in my family.  I think the fact that I don’t smoke or drink threw me off, but it’s now plain as day.  I came to this realization on Friday when I took the girls to the beach.

I’m a poor planner.  You would think after three kids I would know what I need to bring places, but I always underestimate the messes my children are capable of making.  We went Friday morning.  It was nice but overcast and not super hot.  Therefore, I decided no swimsuits.  We were just going to play in the sand and maybe get our feet wet in the surf.  No need for swimsuits.  (Can you see my mistake already?)

We were having lots of fun in the surf, chasing and running from the water.  Samantha got a little overexcited, as she is prone to do, and ran away while still facing backwards.  Ella was directly behind her.  So Ella went down as the surf came up.  The result:  one toddler in soaking wet shorts, diaper, and tank top, and no change of clothes.

She was cold and wet and didn’t want to wear her clothes.  So I did what anyone would do, I let her run around in just her diaper.  I was hoping her clothes would dry by the time we had to go home.

While I was stripping her, I had to put Penny down on the towels.  She, of course, began stuffing fistfuls of sand in her mouth.  Then she tipped over, onto the sand.   I brushed her off as best I could, but she was sticky from the sunscreen and we all know sand just does not come off that easily.

Samantha was occupying herself making sandcastles.  So she was also covered in wet sand.  Her arms, legs, and the backside of her shorts.

Then it was time to play in the surf some more.  If you had been there, this is what you would have seen.  Me, in a tank top, shorts, and my hair in a pony tail, holding a sand caked barefoot baby running in and out of the water.  Holding onto my free hand was Ella, in a diaper only and her janky hair.  Samantha, wearing a shirt that opens in the front and shows her belly when she runs and a pair of short jean shorts, covered in sand, screaming like a banshee trailing behind.

Of course, Ella’s clothes did not dry before it was time to leave.  I tried to wrap her in a towel, but she couldn’t keep it up herself and I couldn’t carry Penny, our bag of crap, and Ella.  So she walked out herself, in only a diaper.  Yep, pure white trash.

I would like to apologize to my family who I apparently have been embarrassing by my white trashiness for years.  I really had no idea.  I’d like to say I’m trying to change, but that would be a lie.    I may be trashy, but I’m no liar.

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28 Responses to “White Trash Goes To The Beach”

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  1. jaded16 says:

    This isn’t nearly half as exciting as being the black sheep of the family. I get to answer, “No MORE Sodomy today!” to the annoying rhetoric of “Just WHAT do you want from life!?”.

  2. Casey
    Twitter: MaritimeMom

    This is hilarious! I can feel your angst…often what I feel when I take my two girls to the beach. Not sure why I do it. LOL! FYI. Keep a bottle of baby powder (or corn starch)…its a miracle cure to getting sand off the kids bodies.

    • Jessica Anne says:

      Baby powder? Will do! I had no idea! I always think, oh, I’ll be able to handle all 3 just fine, and then I get somewhere and not so much.

  3. Mama Hen says:

    You have to laugh at these things! Last year I spent the entire summer chasing Little Chick from one end of the very long beach to the other! It was quite a thing to see. She thought it was so funny and I was just exhausted! But she had fun! Now I keep extra clothes in the back of the car, so I am more prepared for the beach! Have a great day!

    Mama Hen

  4. AZLB
    Twitter: azlb

    sounds like a perfect day at the beach. A day you won’t forget!!!

  5. Debbi says:

    Too, too funny! I can picture it perfectly. At least you all had fun. I had a wonderful experience back in April when HRJ had an explosion and I had to remove his shirt. Leaving him in only a pair of overalls. At my husband’s large and very busy work, while we had our taxes done for hours. It was great.

  6. Alyna @ Better Your Blog
    Twitter: BetterYourBlog

    Provocative title, funny post and great ending!

    Oh, and bonus points for a post that teaches me a new word! http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/janky

    Hey, at least none of them rolled in dead sea-life… ;-)

  7. Alexandra says:

    love the title, and the post didnt’ disappoint (is this a good thing??)

    thanks for the all too true slice of life!

  8. Ah, the beach. We also went recently and it was not exactly what I had envisioned. Thanks for visiting my blog from the HCHW carnival. Wanted to let you know that your link to your web page from the blogger profile page doesn’t work — I had to google to find you. I’m from a family of 6 girls (and 1 boy) — LOVE the idea of having 3 girls.

  9. Kathryn
    Twitter: thecoastalchick

    There is a little white trash in all of us. Embrace the trash, it sounds like it makes for a very fun day. Really enjoyed this post, had me laughing out loud!

  10. Cheryl says:

    I was giggling at the title and fully hysterical midway through. You painted a beautiful picture with your words. I would, however, have enjoyed some photos as well. Are you a secret member of the people of Walmart? (This is what I get for following links over at the RDC!) Will you back next week too?

    • Jessica Anne says:

      Glad you enjoyed it! I love hearing that it made someone laugh. I am terrible about putting in pictures. I really should, you’re right. And I will definitely be back next week, can’t properly stalk a blog if I don’t show up. :)

  11. Ash
    Twitter: AshatShades

    Sounds like a perfect day at the beach. But I was raised in Georgia and now reside in Texas – so diapers as a fashion statement, totally normal.

    Now, if the girls were running around with Pabst in their sippies, THAT would be white trash.

    I second the baby powder suggestion. Like magic.

  12. Kerry
    Twitter: thebutlerway

    the fact that you can manage 3 very young, busy girls at the beach is amazing. So if they walked to the car in her diaper. It’s better than naked. great, funny post!

    now following you! from TRDC

  13. Lindsey
    Twitter: dishwaterdreams

    How funny! I don’t think this makes you white trash in any way. It just makes you spontaneous!

  14. Missy
    Twitter: MS_WonderFriend

    White trash? No way. This is called Going-Anywhere-With-More-Than-One-Kid. Hilarious post!

  15. Rebekah C
    Twitter: RCThoughtfulMom

    LOL! I joke around about being white trash all the time. It sounds to me like our littles had a GREAT time and what a cool Mom for being so easygoing as to let your baby run around in only a diaper.

    Once, my little girl spent her day at the lake naked because I made a similar mistake (she was about 2yrs old). Nobody there even gave her a second glance. They’re kids, lol, it’s fine.

    Anyway, I just stopped by from the Red Dress Club. :)


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