The Bug

We were under attack this summer.  By this:

That is on the inside of our screen door.  It is big and ugly and crunchy (not the good kind of crunchy, the noisy kind of  crunchy.  I hate crunchy bugs.) It stayed around our back door and terrorized us.  (By us, I mean me.  I really hate crunchy bugs.)  It even landed on the screen door and, since there were holes in the screen, crawled into our house.  That required me to close the sliding glass door for hours on a really hot day.  Evil bug.

One day, Ella, Penny, and I were outside while Sammy was at school.  The bug was flying around near the back door and it was time to go inside.  Bravely, I picked up Penny and began walking towards the door, one eye on that bug.  (Okay, both eyes on it.)  As we got near, it charged!  No kidding, it flew right at us.  I backed up, thinking no bug would actually charge at me, but it must have sensed my fear, because it kept coming.  So, like a good mother protecting her children, I screamed like a little girl.  Then I scooped Ella up under her armpits and ran (screaming) from that bug.

You might wonder why I would be scared of it.  Clearly it’s a beetle of some kind with no stinger and I doubt it would bite.  But it could do far worse.  It could get tangled in my hair, requiring me to touch it’s crunchiness, maybe even one of those legs would wrap around my finger or, in my frantic attempts to get it out, I could wind up squashing it in my hair.  You can imagine the trauma such an event would cause.  I would need therapy for sure.

Having won its territory, the bug turned back and kept guard of the prime real estate directly in front of the house.  I tried a couple times to sneak by, but it was wily and chased us away (screaming).   It kept us out of the house for fifteen minutes.  So I was not saddened one day to go outside and see, lying on the ground, this:

One dead bug.  (He may have been scary, but I have a longer life span.  Ha!)  I even got brave and turned him to see better.

I thought it was over.  But I was wrong.  There were apparently two bugs.  The dead one never chased me.  The other did.  A few days later, he was back protecting his territory.  Finally, however, I found him dead too.  (I didn’t take a picture.  He doesn’t deserve the notoriety.)  So now, we can go in our yard without fear of a big, crunchy bug attacking us.

(Because I’m thorough and a geek, I found out it is called a Green June beetle.  According to the entomology department at Oklahoma State, where I found my info, “adult beetles damage fruit by feeding on ripening fruits. Beetles gain entry into undamaged fruits by gouging with the horn on the front of the head, then feed on the flesh of the fruit. Several beetles may bury themselves entirely in a ripe peach. Their odor and excrement ruins most pieces of fruit they visit even if feeding damage is not severe.”    Gouging with the horn on the front of the head! Seriously, we’re lucky we survived.  Penny still has a soft spot.  Maybe the beetle thought her head was a ripe peach and wanted to feed on her flesh!  It could have been catastrophic.  Plus, it still could have gotten stuck in my hair.They have only one hatch a year, so they shouldn’t bother us any more this year.

Also, I really hate June bugs and this had June in the name, so I have now come to the conclusion that I like no bugs with the word June in their name.  I may be moving somewhere frigid during the month of June to avoid all June named bugs in the future.)

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8 Responses to “The Bug”

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  1. Debbi says:

    I literally shuddered when you described what it could do to you. The thought of one of those in yours or my hair for that matter makes me want to be sick.

    P.S. don’t come to Texas. Big bugs like that are standard. As are ginourmous spiders.

  2. Jessica Anne says:

    It was a nasty, nasty thing. Eww. I have crossed Texas off my list of places to hide from bugs in June (or any time). The less bugs the better. And no thank you on the spiders.

  3. jaded16 says:

    I hate hate HATE bugs! I think you’re very brave. And yes crunchy bugs are the worst. Ugh.

  4. Fire Wife Katie
    Twitter: firewifekatie

    Eeek! Crunchy beetle!! *shudders* Glad you survived!!

  5. Casey
    Twitter: MaritimeMom

    That reminded me of the year the 17 year cicadas invaded the neighborhood. Talk about crunchy! Thousands of them on the trees and ground, buzzing everywhere. My dog thought they were the best appetizer (which made the worst farts). That was Virginia, so you may want to cross that off too (or go on vacation every 17 years). Thanks for the laugh!