Good Times

An apology to my ex-husband:

Now that our divorce is final and I’ve had some time to reflect, I realize I owe you an apology. The divorce got a little ugly.

There was the name calling. I admit, calling you a whore was over the top. Cheating SOB, still rings true. But whore was out of line. I’m sorry.

Then there was dividing up the property and belongings.  I got a little petty. I’m sorry.

I really didn’t want your grandfather’s old baseball glove signed by that guy. What was his name again? Babe something? I just knew you wanted it.    That was petty of me. So, to make amends, I gave it to that kid down the street. You remember him? His dad said he couldn’t possibly accept it, but I insisted. He looked so cute wearing it. Made me realize all the good that came out of our divorce.

Then there was the motorcycle. I know it was your prized possession. You had a lot of memories with it. I knew that, and yet, I made sure I got it in the divorce. That was petty of me.  I’m sorry.

All those memories. There’s the time you spent all that money on it without so much as running it by me. Even though we had been saving the money for a new dishwasher so I wouldn’t have to wash the dishes by hand anymore.  Our old one had broken eight months earlier, so, really, you were right to think I was crazy for getting mad. Eight months is hardly any time at all to wash dishes by hand, three meals a day, for four people. You said it was a guy thing and you just needed some time alone on the open road. Do you remember that? Good times.

Then there was that time you were riding it with that two-bit blonde hussy plastered to your back and I pulled up next to you in the SUV with our kids in the backseat on the way home from the grocery store.  That was such a fun conversation for me to have with them. I especially love that they call her Auntie Jennie now. Do you remember that? Good times.

I realize now how petty I was, how much that motorcycle meant to you, and how mean spirited I was being just letting it get covered in dust in the garage. My therapist says I need to let go, not hold onto that negative energy.  So I’ve decided to give it back to you.  It’s all yours.  You just have to pick it up.

I brought it to the beach. The one you used to take me to when we were first dating.  The one where you proposed to me. We used to have bon fires. Do you remember that?

That’s where I left the motorcycle for you to pick up.  While I was there, I thought I’d have one last bon fire. You know, to celebrate the new me. The me that isn’t so petty.  It was really beautiful. I took a picture. Good times.

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About Jessica Anne

49 Responses to “Good Times”

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  1. The Drama Mama
    Twitter: poopscoopinmama

    The picture seals it. LMAO. That poor bike. Good Times for sure. ;)
    The Drama Mama´s last post ..Unbelievable Sale! Must See to Believe!

  2. Mandyland
    Twitter: in_mandyland

    Good times. *snicker* This was fantastic. I was giggling the whole time.
    Mandyland´s last post ..Leaving Las Vegas

  3. Frelle
    Twitter: frelle


    LOL! Love it. here from the trdc linkup/twitter :)
    Frelle´s last post ..midnight caller

  4. Jessica
    Twitter: fourplusanangel

    LOVE it, that picture is perfect. Laughed through the whole thing and loved the empowerment shown through it all.
    Jessica´s last post ..Why Flash Mobs Make Me Cry

  5. Emily @ Kibble n' Dribble
    Twitter: emilyknd

    I had a feeling I knew where this was going, but, wow, engaging and hilarious. I loved the post and was laughing the whole time. Very empowering.

  6. Carrie
    Twitter: Miss_Scarlett99

    Oh man, giving the Babe Ruth mitt to the kid down the street to USE!! Priceless. And that picture? Awesome :)
    Carrie´s last post ..Red Writing Hood- Squashing the force

  7. Stacey says:

    OMG! That is seriously hilarious. The picture at the end is the clencher! I’m glad you gave that glove to a kid who could really get some use out of it!
    Stacey´s last post ..For Sale- One Sciatic Nerve

  8. Sonora
    Twitter: 2twinfinity

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVED this! I wanted to write something on this topic, but my divorce isn’t final yet and my ex reads my blog. That could get a little ugly, but oh how I loved this post! It could not have ended more perfectly. Great job!

  9. Sara
    Twitter: periwinklepapi

    Hilarious! Revenge is sah-weet!!

  10. Awesome. Simply awesome.
    Unofficial Mom´s last post ..What the french- toast

  11. Mrs. Jen B
    Twitter: MrsJenBardall

    I love where you went with this. Here I was, thinking you were being all nice…

    Good times! hahaha

  12. CDG
    Twitter: MoveOverMaryP

    The baseball mitt! You evil genius!
    CDG´s last post ..A Persistent Memory

  13. Annie says:

    Love it. Still giggling… By all means if the fictional therapist says to let go of all that negative energy, I think the wife did a great job “letting go” and she did the ex-hubby a favor!

  14. Leighann
    Twitter: MultitaskMumma

    So so funny.
    Awesome job

  15. Rita @YippyMomma
    Twitter: YippyMomma

    Dropping by from TRDC. This is just great. Very funny. I can’t even really put it into words…good times. ^_^

  16. Tonya says:

    Good times, in deed. Ouch! Remind me never to get on your bad side.

    The picture is the best!!

    Nice job.

    Stopping by from TRDC.
    Tonya´s last post ..This Thing Has Got To Go!

  17. Cheryl @ Mommypants
    Twitter: mommy_pants

    Love the part about the baseball glove. I would FREAK OUT! lol

  18. Jennifer says:

    Note to self. Never piss this woman off. I literally cringed and then laughed at the baseball glove part!
    Jennifer´s last post ..Soul Sale

  19. Mad Woman behind the Blog
    Twitter: madsbloggingmom

    You can bring the funny! Well done!
    Mad Woman behind the Blog´s last post ..The thorn in my side

  20. Moomser
    Twitter: moomser

    I missed the TRDC widget at the top and read the whole thing open mouthed thinking I should go back and re-read your whole blog, cause I had obviously missed A LOT. And then the motorcycle almost sent me over the edge! Although, I must say, if I need to exact revenge on anyone, I’ll be contacting you for advice! Awesome post!
    Moomser´s last post ..The I-Phone is my new babysitter

    • Jessica Anne says:

      Ha! I’m all talk, I could never do any of that in real life. Although, it would make my blog a lot more interesting. :) Let me know if you need some revenge advice, I’m full of ideas.

  21. Nancy C
    Twitter: AwayWeGoNancy

    OH, this was so good. So funny. So mean. So brilliant. Such good times.

    And that picture? Icing on the cake.
    Nancy C´s last post ..Red Writing Hood- Seeking

  22. Amy Hillis
    Twitter: transplantedx3

    ah, Good times, indeed! Loved it! Very funny, I laughed out loud and scared the cat right off her perch, *snort*
    Amy Hillis´s last post ..Whine for Sale – Cheap

  23. Karen Peterson
    Twitter: KarenMPeterson

    I can’t decide if I’m hoping it’s fiction or not!
    Karen Peterson´s last post ..For Sale

  24. Brandon
    Twitter: StoryDam

    “Gave it to the kid down the street…” wow. That would have hurt more than the bike… ouch… ouch ouch…
    Brandon´s last post ..Everything must go!


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