Going for A World Record

Yesterday was the L.A. marathon. In November I briefly thought about signing up for it. I’ve always wanted to run one, just to be able to say that I did.  Then I decided not this year at least. Since it absolutely poured here yesterday, I feel I made a wise decision.

But, it got me thinking of my bucket list (you know, the by the time I’m 40 list, not the before I die one). And I realized there are a number of things on that list that just aren’t realistically going to happen.  I will likely not travel abroad in the next four years, not to Europe and definitely not to Southeast Asia.  Unlikely that I will learn to SCUBA dive. Even learning to surf may not happen.  I still haven’t completely discounted the marathon, but we’ll see.

Then I thought about all the things I’ve already given up on.  Having six pack abs, for example.  Then there’s the one I gave up on a long time ago: setting a World Record and getting into The Guiness Book of World Records.

I used to check that book out of the library and thumb through to try to find something I could beat.  Jumproping, see-sawing like on the Brady Bunch, something.  I never could find anything.  But I’ve decided to not stop trying.  I’m going to set a World Record in something Mommy.  My kids are helping me train. Here are some of my ideas, in case the Guiness committee happens by the blog.

1. Most Laundry Done in 24 hours

Thanks to my girls, I’m currently up to 8 loads. It’s impressive, I know. I’m not sure if the rules will require I fold  and put it all away, too. That could get dicey.

2. Cooking the Worst Meal of All Time

Again, based on my girls’ response to some of the things I make, I’m a shoe-in for this one.  Sweet potato enchiladas, potato tacos, homemade spaghetti sauce, nothing short of torture.

3. Most Pee Cleaned Up in a Day

Some days, Ella decides she doesn’t want to use the potty. At all. On those days, I can count on at least 5 accidents.  Then, on a good day, both older girls have accidents overnight and Penny’s diaper leaks.  I figure I can up my odds for a record by just letting Penny run around for a while without her diaper. I have a cat litterbox in the house too, not sure if the committee will count scooping the box.

4. Most Number of Places Cleaned Crayon or Marker Off

My list so far includes, kitchen and dining room tables and chairs, my white comforter, walls in four rooms, bathroom counters, wood floor, carpet, couch, dog crate, tablecloth, and dresses.  I’m not sure how staining factors into the the scoring. I’ll definitely lose points if it has to actually come off.

5. Biggest Mess Ever

I know some of you are going to think you can take this one, but don’t count me out. We had the chalk incident last week.  I thought it would be a good idea to kick the girls out into the backyard while I cooked dinner and picked up the house a little.  I know, you’d think I’d know better.  Blue and green sidewalk chalk and 3 small girls equals chalk everywhere.

They drew on the sidewalk (good), then walked through it and sat in it, so it was all over their feet and clothes. They apparently liked the chalk on their feet, so they colored the soles of their feet, including Penny’s.  Ella must have gotten hot, so she stripped (or she just stripped because that’s what she does) and got chalk all over her body, including two perfect circles on her bottom.  Then Samantha had to go to the bathroom. So she came inside, tracking chalk all over the carpet and floor while I yelled at her to stop moving.  As I rushed to the bathroom to get her in the tub, the other two came in, spreading chalk everywhere, including the couches. The bath water was blue after they were cleaned.

I’ve got others if that one doesn’t cut it, but I think it will.

Now all I have to do is go to the library and get the book so I can find where to  submit my application. Then it’s just a matter of time before I get my certificate or whatever.

Do you have any World Records you’re training for right now?


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9 Responses to “Going for A World Record”

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  1. AZLB
    Twitter: azlb
    says:

    I have you beat on the laundry…just put in load #10 between the last 24 hours!
    AZLB´s last post ..Getting through the piles

    • Jessica Anne says:

      My trainers are slacking. I’ll have to ask them to get brutal with me. Starting off good today, cat puke requiring 2 loads and an overnight accident plus the 2 I had planned. We’ll see if they can really challenge me today. :)

  2. Ratz says:

    Sitting on the PC throughout the day because there is nothing else to do.

  3. Kristin @ Peace, Love and Muesli
    Twitter: kristinglas
    says:

    Laundry must be folded and put away to qualify, official rules.
    I’m working on breaking number of times the dishwasher runs in 24 hours. I’m at 4.
    And no way am I letting you take it for biggest mess that easily! Was the chalk in their ears? Did they mix it with water to make a chalk paste?

    • Jessica Anne says:

      Ok, I’ll suck it up and fold the laundry. Impressive with the dishwasher. I’ve only managed two.

      There was water mixed with the chalk. None in the ears, but they did color Penny’s head, through her hair. Does that count?

  4. Leslie
    Twitter: crunchybetty
    says:

    Haha! This had me laughing so hard I snorted.

    Sadly, I do think the laundry has to be folded to count. But you know how specific the Guinness Book gets these days on records? I have no doubt in my mind you’d win “Biggest Mess With Chalk.” Also maybe “Cutest Girls With Chalky Butts.”
    Leslie´s last post ..How I’m Making Apple Cider Vinegar- Hopefully

    • Jessica Anne says:

      Crap. I’m going to have to up my game, or just settle for the chalk records. The chalk butt was adorable. So adorable I sadly forgot to take pictures. I bet those Guinness people need photographic evidence.

  5. AAfoc says:

    5095 528968you make blogging glance 670677