The Milk Incident

As parents, there are so many opportunities to really mess up our children and send them to years of therapy, rehashing how their mother scarred them for life.

Like the time we kissed them good-bye in front of their friends when they decided they were too old and we hadn’t received the memo.

Or the time we tried to use some slang in front of their friends and we were too old to pull it off.

Or maybe the time we chaperoned the school dance and actually danced ourselves.

There are countless opportunities to embarrass or otherwise permanently damage their fragile psyches. I’m looking forward to the opportunity.  I just didn’t realize it would start in preschool.

A few months ago I sent Sammy and Ella to school with their lunches:  a sandwich, string cheese, fruit, and their drink, milk for Sammy and water for Ella.

When I picked them up Ella met me with her nose scrunched up, hands on her hip, and yelled at me, “You gave me milk!”

Because she’s two, she’s hard to understand sometimes, and it’s worse when she’s mad, so I had to have her repeat herself. That, of course, made her more mad.

When I finally figured out what she was saying, I realized my mistake. I put Sammy’s milk cup in Ella’s lunch bag and vice versa.  Ella does not drink milk. Period. Even chocolate milk although she’ll tell you she wants it, she doesn’t actually drink it.  She just doesn’t like milk. Not rice milk, not soy milk, not hemp milk, not goat’s milk, not whole milk, not 2%, not fat free. Nothing. If she gets some in her mouth she spits it out like an elephant sprays water from its trunk.  It’s a mess.

It must have been a hectic morning. (I say that because they all are.) I inadvertently switched the cups. Ooops. Oh well. Her teacher’s got her a cup of water. I apologized. Told her I had made a mistake and I’d try really hard not to do it again. End of story. Right?

Wrong. Ella brings up “the milk incident” almost daily and sometimes multiple times in a day.

“Remember when you gave me milk in my lunch and Sammy water in hers?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t like milk.”

“I know. I made a mistake.”

“But you put milk in my lunch. I don’t like milk.”

I can see her years from now, laying on a couch in her therapist’s office, recounting all the ways I ruined her life, starting in preschool where I gave her milk.

Have you permanently damaged your child like me? Does anyone else have a non-milk drinker or can I add that to my list of ways my children have scarred me for life?

 

**photo via flickr by tmray02

 


Related Posts with Thumbnails
Share

About Jessica Anne

10 Responses to “The Milk Incident”

Read below or add a comment...

  1. Moomser
    Twitter: moomser
    says:

    It’s always the little things isn’t it?! Both my kids drink insane amounts of milk, so much so that we’re thinking of investing in a cow. I, on the other hand, can’t even stand the smell of milk. So I totally get your daughter!
    Moomser´s last post ..First week down

  2. Jessica says:

    I also have a non-milk drinker (as it turns out, we discovered in 2nd grade, he had good reason – he’s allergic). And am SO with you on the ‘scarred for life’ business. I made my son wear tennis shoes instead of cowboy boots (he couldn’t find them) a couple of years ago and he is STILL talking about it. He does, however, put his shoes away properly so he can find them now.

    • Jessica Anne says:

      I have wondered if milk bothers mine too. Although, she seems fine with cheese and yogurt, so I don’t know.

      It’s so funny what they remember. At least your son learned something from his traumatic experience. :)

  3. Amanda says:

    My two oldest girls don’t like milk, but it won’t stop them from asking for it every once in a while. (This usually happens with friends are over who are drinking milk.) Even when they ask for it, they still don’t drink it. Oh, and I have certainly traumatized my oldest daughter. I was talking to her about the importance of going to the dentist and then went on to explain what cavaties are (“You mean you can get holes in your teeth??!!”) … It was game over.

  4. Kristin @ Peace, Love and Muesli
    Twitter: kristinglas
    says:

    Once my mom gave my dad my veggie pate sandwich and me his roast beef. I was a vegetarian then, I think he was more angry than me.

    • Jessica Anne says:

      Ha! My husband is much more vocal about having to eat vegetarian food than I am about not having vegan options around. You’d think the vegetables were going to kill him.

  5. Janae
    Twitter: grumpygrateful
    says:

    Hilarious!

    I have also damaged my kids beyond repair, but for different reasons. Today my daughter forgot her backpack for school and I didn’t drive home and get it for her. Lots of tears ensued. I think I ruined her life.

    This probably won’t be brought up in therapy though, there are too many other incidents to choose from. :)
    Janae´s last post ..A Flavorful Feast