Putting My Breast Foot Forward

Kindergarten has started, and with it, a whole new level of chaos and activity.  This has already provided a number of amusing tales, the first of which, I will share today.

Thursday is a heavily scheduled day now.  Sammy has school, Ella has preschool.  Last Thursday, Samantha’s first Thursday in kindergarten, and my first day managing all three kids alone.

I loaded the kids into the car and left the house at 7:30 in the morning.  Because I live in L.A., it takes about 30-35 min for me to drive 6.5 miles.  Sammy starts school at 8:15.  I dropped her off, put the other two back in the car and headed for preschool.  We got there right at 9:00 when school started.

I went home with Penny, had a meeting with our landscaper, made Penny lunch, and headed back to preschool for Ella at 12:30.

We got home at 1.  Penny went down for her nap.  At 2:10,  I woke her and loaded Penny and Ella into the car to pick up Samantha from school at 2:40.

At this point, I was pretty exhausted from running all over the place.  Ella fell asleep on the way to Sammy’s kindergarten.  Traffic was bad, so we parked at 2:40. Sammy was now waiting and I was going to be a little late for pick up.  I thought Ella would wake up when I got her out of the car.  I was wrong.

Since Sammy’s school is on a very busy street, I felt Penny needed to be buckled in the stroller I had remembered to put in the trunk to keep her contained and safe.  I threw sleeping Ella over my shoulder and headed across the street.

Ella is heavy.  She’s a very solid 35 pounds. I kept having to shift her around.  She was out cold, flopping around and slipping off my shoulder.  I was hurrying.  I wanted to make a good impression and not let them know this early in the school year that I’m that harried mom who’s always late and can barely manage her own children.  They can find that out later in the year.

As I was hurrying to the school, I noticed people looking at me and Ella.  I assumed they were feeling sympathy for me with my hands full of children.

I got to the school yard for pick up just as Sam’s teacher was taking her and three other kids whose parents were late to the office for the principal to call their negligent parents.  I swooped over and retrieved my child.  Her teacher, the Mandarin speaking one, nodded at me.  I saw her look at Ella and thought I saw a look of understanding come over her face.

I hurried Sammy and the girls back to the car, Sammy complaining the whole way about how far I had parked.

I got everyone back in the car.  Ella woke as I was buckling her in.  I put three water bottles in three hands, folded up the stroller, and climbed into my seat.

It was then that I noticed.  All the jostling and shifting of Ella also shifted my tank top.   Down. Exposing my bra pretty much completely.

So, no one was looking at Ella.  They were all looking at my boobs.  And labeling me as that crazy, harried mom who always runs late and comes to school in her underwear.  Way to make a good first impression.

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9 Responses to “Putting My Breast Foot Forward”

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  1. Kristin @ Peace, Love and Muesli
    Twitter: kristinglas

    Ah geez. We all have to take our turns being the crazy mom, I think you’ve more than had your share. Hope it’s not my turn next.
    The title made me giggle.
    Kristin @ Peace, Love and Muesli´s last post ..Nutritional Yeast: It’s Good Stuff.

    • Jessica Anne says:

      The me having more than my fair share part is what I’m worried about. If it’s more than occasional, I think it means I might actually be crazy mom.

      The title made me giggle too. Cuz I’m super mature.

  2. AZLB
    Twitter: azlb

    been there done that…but so much funny to hear it written by someone else! I am sure all the dads appreciate the peep show :)

  3. Amy Hacker says:

    You are hilarious!

  4. Amanda says:

    LOL. I’ve had people staring at my bra many times as I’ve toted my children around. Always fun to realize what they were looking at afterwards. I should switch to turtlenecks!

  5. The Drama Mama
    Twitter: poopscoopinmama

    Well I just found out tonight that my favorite pair of shorts has a big ol hole in the crotch. And I wore them to the store today. How’s THAT for crazy mom? ;)

    Also, you would right in that Blair did cheat, and yes, I am doing NaNo this year, though not 100% sure I am doing Book 2 to the Unlikely Hero. Another idea popped up so I’m researching so I have the info I need when November comes. This one is a bit of a psychological/thriller/horroy/govt conspiracy type of thing. Look out Stephen King! ;)
    The Drama Mama´s last post ..Business As Usual