Early Christmas Lists: Infomercial Style

I know it’s not yet Halloween, however, based on the decorations up at stores already and my girls, Christmas is fast approaching.

The girls are avidly preparing by yelling at every commercial they see on television, “I want that for my birthday!” (I have no idea why they don’t say Christmas. It’s either because they feel every time they receive a gift it’s their birthday, ala Frosty every time he got his hat put on, or they mean baby Jesus’ birthday.)

Ella is the most greedy demanding in need of new things. Her list is extensive.  There are the usual dolls that pee, My Little Pony, Squinkies, etc. type toys, and then there are the serious ones.  The ones she knows she really wants.

How does she know she wants them? Because she can’t get them without a special adult helping her. That adult must be 18 years or older so they can order online. Allow me to set the scene.

Ella: (Enters room with a pensive, serious face) Mommy? (she asks with a tone that says serious problems are afoot)

Me: (Turns with look of concern. Some big question is looming, hoping it’s nothing to do with sex) Yes?

Ella: Are you over 18?

Me: (quizzical face) Yes (but not by much).

Ella: (A look of relief washes over her face, she points to the television) Then can you order me that? You have to be 18 or over to order online.

Me: (Looks briefly at the crap she wants. Turns away.) No.

Ella: (Using most annoying whiny voice imaginable for 15 minutes while I continue to ignore her) But, Mom………

End Scene.

Let me show you the AMAZING products Ella would like for her next birthday.

1. Stompeez

Have you seen these? They’re slippers with animal faces that do something every time you take a step.  For example, the unicorn (Ella’s favorite) the eyes pop up, making it look like she’s blinking as you walk.

2. Hoodie Pets

I think the video speaks for itself. It’s On!

3. Bright Light Pillow

It’s a pillow! That lights up! For only $19.99 (plus shipping and handling).  Apparently, there is also a blanket.

4. Gak

There is no way that stuff is coming into my house. I do not need Gak ground into the carpet or the cats.

and my favorite,

5. Proactiv

Because acne is the unspoken bane of the preschool set.

Clearly, she watches too much t.v.

Are your kids begging for crap yet? Anything particularly craptastic?

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17 Responses to “Early Christmas Lists: Infomercial Style”

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  1. Diana says:

    Proactiv, LOL!

  2. Kristin says:

    We canceled our tv service, so no crazy lists. Yet.

    I made gak once, it was fun. I’ll send you the recipe.
    Kristin´s last post ..How Much Internet Do I Need?

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